Okay, I have to confess something. I am not really sure if I should be giving you advice on how to become mentally tougher. If you ask any of my friends and family you'd know that I am the first to cry about a TV ad if it's just slightly emotional (a puppy is often times enough). I am also not really good with criticism and take it very personally. Well, at least that's what I used to be like. I have really worked on myself when it comes to being overly emotionally in the last couple of years. I am not really as tough as I'd like to be but life is a journey, right? 

So if you want to hear some advice on how to become mentally stronger and emotionally tougher from someone who used struggle with these things majorly, this is the post for you.


1. Sometimes it's them, not you. 
Take it from someone who has been there: most of the time it's them, not you. When people try to bring you down with mean comments, rude actions or just generally treat you like garbage. The issue they are having is mostly with themselves. They just try to let it out on you, because you are an easy target or you simply were there when they needed to let out steam. So try not to take it personally and maybe even think about what they might be going through right now. So the next time your boss has a go at you for misplacing something, think about that maybe he has a lot of pressure from his boss right now. Or if your significant other is being mean to you for no obvious reason, they might have some issues they are dealing with right now. Of course, that's never an excuse to treat anyone like that, but it might make it easier for you to deal with these situations. 

2. Can you change it? 
One question I want you to ask yourself when you are beating yourself up about something or worry about another thing: Can I change it? If not, there is absolutely no point in stressing about it. But if the answer is yes, then make a plan and take action. 

3. Make mistakes and learn from them. 
No one is born with the superpower of always knowing what the right decision is. Even if you know some people who seemingly have everything and just seem to succeed at whatever they start, they really don't. The only reason why you think so is that they normally don't talk about their failures but love to discuss their successes. 

4. The world owes you nothing. 
I know sometimes it can feel like the whole world is against you. And you ask yourself 'I am a good person, why am I not successful, why does everything seem to go wrong?'. I hope that doesn't come across rude, but: the world owes you nothing. You have to look for opportunities yourself. Yes, positive thinking helps but if you just sit there and think about that life you want it won't lead anywhere. 

5. Be comfortable with uncomfortable emotions. 
I used to dread arguments so much to the point that I would pretend to agree with another person just for the sake of not having to argue about it. Of course, no one likes to fight (at least I hope you don't). But having a civilized discussion about a problem or just an opinion can help so much and even broaden your horizon. Being comfortable with uncomfortable emotions is what sets successful people apart from the rest.

6. Bye, Bye!
Cutting toxic people out of your life is one of the basics of becoming mentally stronger. They just suck so much energy out of you, that you sometimes don't even notice. And always remember: just because you are related to someone doesn't mean you have to have them in your life. Especially if they do nothing but bring you down. 

7. Learn to say no. 
Similarly to cutting toxic people out, it's important to say no. I know it's easier to play the nice girl and say yes to everything someone asks you to do. And yes, you should help other people but only when you can. You don't have to fill in for your colleague when it's actually your anniversary. You don't have to help your neighbour with painting their fence when you have a work deadline. But of course don't be rude about it. Explain your situation and offer to help them out another day. It would be even better if you can already set a date for the day you are going to do the thing they asked you to. You don't have to constantly do whatever, whenever other people want you to.


8. Take care of yourself. 
If you don't take care of your physical and mental health you won't be able to become mentally and emotionally stronger. With taking care I mean get enough sleep, exercise, eat things that nourish your body (and taste amazing, obviously). And sometimes it can also mean to stay home and just watch Netflix and order yourself a pizza. Simply listen to yourself and your body and you will know what you need. 

9. Positive people are not 'naive' or 'weak'. 
I have always been a very positive and optimistic person. I always had trust that everything is going to fall into place when I give my best. If you are the same, chances are you will encounter some people that might make comments about you for being 'too naive' or 'stupid'. See, the thing is just because you believe in the good in people and the world doesn't mean you don't anticipate their bad sides. You do. You just choose to give them the benefit of the doubt. And I think the world would be a much better place if everyone would do so.

10. Be patient.
You won't change overnight. It's a process that takes time. So don't beat yourself up the next time you cry because someone didn't like the way you did your work or left a rude comment on your looks. Observe your emotions and learn. 

x Lisa