Sunday, May 27, 2018

How To Become Mentally Tougher & Emotionally Stronger.

Okay, I have to confess something. I am not really sure if I should be giving you advice on how to become mentally tougher. If you ask any of my friends and family you'd know that I am the first to cry about a TV ad if it's just slightly emotional (a puppy is often times enough). I am also not really good with criticism and take it very personally. Well, at least that's what I used to be like. I have really worked on myself when it comes to being overly emotionally in the last couple of years. I am not really as tough as I'd like to be but life is a journey, right? 

So if you want to hear some advice on how to become mentally stronger and emotionally tougher from someone who used struggle with these things majorly, this is the post for you.


1. Sometimes it's them, not you. 
Take it from someone who has been there: most of the time it's them, not you. When people try to bring you down with mean comments, rude actions or just generally treat you like garbage. The issue they are having is mostly with themselves. They just try to let it out on you, because you are an easy target or you simply were there when they needed to let out steam. So try not to take it personally and maybe even think about what they might be going through right now. So the next time your boss has a go at you for misplacing something, think about that maybe he has a lot of pressure from his boss right now. Or if your significant other is being mean to you for no obvious reason, they might have some issues they are dealing with right now. Of course, that's never an excuse to treat anyone like that, but it might make it easier for you to deal with these situations. 

2. Can you change it? 
One question I want you to ask yourself when you are beating yourself up about something or worry about another thing: Can I change it? If not, there is absolutely no point in stressing about it. But if the answer is yes, then make a plan and take action. 

3. Make mistakes and learn from them. 
No one is born with the superpower of always knowing what the right decision is. Even if you know some people who seemingly have everything and just seem to succeed at whatever they start, they really don't. The only reason why you think so is that they normally don't talk about their failures but love to discuss their successes. 

4. The world owes you nothing. 
I know sometimes it can feel like the whole world is against you. And you ask yourself 'I am a good person, why am I not successful, why does everything seem to go wrong?'. I hope that doesn't come across rude, but: the world owes you nothing. You have to look for opportunities yourself. Yes, positive thinking helps but if you just sit there and think about that life you want it won't lead anywhere. 

5. Be comfortable with uncomfortable emotions. 
I used to dread arguments so much to the point that I would pretend to agree with another person just for the sake of not having to argue about it. Of course, no one likes to fight (at least I hope you don't). But having a civilized discussion about a problem or just an opinion can help so much and even broaden your horizon. Being comfortable with uncomfortable emotions is what sets successful people apart from the rest.

6. Bye, Bye!
Cutting toxic people out of your life is one of the basics of becoming mentally stronger. They just suck so much energy out of you, that you sometimes don't even notice. And always remember: just because you are related to someone doesn't mean you have to have them in your life. Especially if they do nothing but bring you down. 

7. Learn to say no. 
Similarly to cutting toxic people out, it's important to say no. I know it's easier to play the nice girl and say yes to everything someone asks you to do. And yes, you should help other people but only when you can. You don't have to fill in for your colleague when it's actually your anniversary. You don't have to help your neighbour with painting their fence when you have a work deadline. But of course don't be rude about it. Explain your situation and offer to help them out another day. It would be even better if you can already set a date for the day you are going to do the thing they asked you to. You don't have to constantly do whatever, whenever other people want you to.


8. Take care of yourself. 
If you don't take care of your physical and mental health you won't be able to become mentally and emotionally stronger. With taking care I mean get enough sleep, exercise, eat things that nourish your body (and taste amazing, obviously). And sometimes it can also mean to stay home and just watch Netflix and order yourself a pizza. Simply listen to yourself and your body and you will know what you need. 

9. Positive people are not 'naive' or 'weak'. 
I have always been a very positive and optimistic person. I always had trust that everything is going to fall into place when I give my best. If you are the same, chances are you will encounter some people that might make comments about you for being 'too naive' or 'stupid'. See, the thing is just because you believe in the good in people and the world doesn't mean you don't anticipate their bad sides. You do. You just choose to give them the benefit of the doubt. And I think the world would be a much better place if everyone would do so.

10. Be patient.
You won't change overnight. It's a process that takes time. So don't beat yourself up the next time you cry because someone didn't like the way you did your work or left a rude comment on your looks. Observe your emotions and learn. 

x Lisa
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88 comments

  1. You are very right on everything you said here. I have done some of the above and they work a treat. Thanks babe Great post xoxo Cris
    https://photosbycris.blogspot.com.au/2018/05/swimwear-from-zaful.html

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  2. Beautiful! Although I don't think that crying often is a sign for being emotionally unstable. I think shwoing your feelings is a sign for being comfortable with them, which shows strength. :) But I get what you mean!

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    1. This is such an interesting perspective.. I never looked at it this way.. Thank you lovely!

      x Lisa

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  3. This is such a relatable post! Everything is so true - very difficult to do these things but so worth it! Especially cutting toxic people out of your life! Xx

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  4. I believe on that the we need to commit mistakes in order for us to grow.
    So in time, we will not repeat it again and learn from it

    Much Love,
    Jane | The Bandwagon Chic

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    1. This is so true Jane! Thank you!

      x Lisa

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  5. Cutting toxic people and all the things bag for you are the first step for what I believe!
    www.bonjourchiara.com

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  6. I cry at tv ads a lot as well, but would describe myself as emotionally tough. One has nothing to do with the other.
    The points you raise are very important, especially the one about the world owing you nothing.

    Anne|Linda, Libra, Loca

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    1. Thank you for your input lovely!

      x Lisa

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  7. This is such an insightful post! If we keep that balance between mind, body and soul, no harm can be done to us. Self-love and self-acceptance are also key factors to it :D
    Thanks for sharing,
    xx

    Patricia & Miguel
    www.freeoversea.com

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  8. Cutting toxic people from my life was the best thing I did. People that are supposed to be your friends but don't feel happy for you and always have something bad to say, no, we don't need them in our lives.

    Yiota
    pinkdaisyloves.blogspot.com

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    1. I am so happy you can relate girl!

      x Lisa

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  9. Nice text dear. I agree with all you have just said. :)
    Kisses

    www.trendsandfashionblog.pt

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  10. This post is amazing!

    xx
    Mónica Sors
    MES VOYAGES À PARIS
    NEW POST: CASUAL CHIC X SPRING

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  11. These are really good tips! I agree with everything you said.
    http://sugarcoatedbears.blogspot.com/

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  12. I couldn’t agree more! I had to get rid off some toxic people in my life as they only bring you down. 💞😘💖

    http://www.elegantduchess.com

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  13. These tips are amazing!! Thanks for sharing.

    X Merel
    www.andathousandwords.com

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    Replies
    1. So glad you liked them lovely!

      x Lisa

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  14. I totally agree with the world doesn't owe you anything, sometimes you really have to fight and work to get to where you want! x

    Velvet Blush

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  15. Lovely post, Lisa! I think their is something beautiful about being vulnerable and strong at the same time. I also think that it's important to express how you feel, especially when someone hurts you. There's always a nice way to go about it. Speaking up is important as well. This was such a great read. Thank you for sharing!

    Darianne | https://DarianneGrimball.com

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    1. Oh girl you are so right! Thank you for your thoughts :)

      x Lisa

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  16. I loved reading this! being positive all the time is so difficult, at least I find it really hard even though I try my best!
    wish you the best(:

    xx from italy
    Cate ღ 35mm in Style

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    1. Nobody can be positive all the time lovely :)

      x Lisa

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  17. such a positive post! especially taking care of yourself, that is so important

    https://dreamofadventures.com/

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  18. This is such a nice read dear, and I couldn't agree more, especially on number 4. Indeed, so many people feel entitled for some reasons. If you want something in life, work for it.

    Jessica | notjessfashion.com

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    1. Absolutely! I am so happy you relate!

      x Lisa

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  19. Love this post! Great tips!
    xo, Jane
    http://www.fitfabfunmom.com

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  20. learning to say no was so hard for me and i still struggle with it sometimes as i want to please everyone put you just can't sometimes.
    ❤︎

    www.elenaisabelle.com

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    1. I absolutely agree Elena.. it's one of the hardest things!

      x Lisa

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  21. What an empowering post, love it!! So important indeed to become comfortable with uncomfortable feelings. Expands your comfort zone so much! Xx

    www.thefashionfolks.com

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  22. what a great informative post, great to see positivity :)
    Number 6 is so important to do, I read a quote that you are the average of 5 people you are with and that made me think on this a lot.

    ZEKALIN

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    1. Oh I heard this before and love it! So true!

      x Lisa

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  23. LOVED this post! I couldn't agree with you more! Life is all about making mistakes but learning from them! THat's the beauty of it all.
    xoxo, Vanessa
    www.WhatWouldVWear.com

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  24. This is such a brilliant and thought-provoking post, you've listed some great points. I particularly love how you mention the world owes you nothing! Ultimately, it's up to us to make our own luck! :)

    Gabrielle | A Glass Of Ice x

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  25. These tips are gold Lisa. Great material for anyone's personal development. Love the 'can you change it' part...also comes with saying 'no' more often :)


    http://www.desiringsme.com/kissing-summer-goodbye/

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  26. All 10 of these points are absolutely spot on! Especially number 9. I feel like there is this stigma against positivity like you are seen as naive or "haven't been through enough". I don't see the purpose of being negative 24/7 all that achieves is making sure you are never happy. I don't necessarily seem myself as an optimist more of a realist as I accept good things happen and bad things happen. I often try and remind myself through any bad stuff that it could always be worse and to know any bad times will eventually pass.

    www.themakeupaficionado.com

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    1. YES GIRL! So happy you liked the post!

      x Lisa

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  27. It's a definite learning curve, sometimes it's easier to say then do! I agree with cutting toxic people out your life for sure (again easier said then done)

    Kay xx
    www.mummywho.com

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    1. Absolutely.. sometimes it's hard but so necessary!

      x Lisa

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  28. This was such an interesting post. I completely agree with you on learning to say no. I think it's so important xx

    http://www.flolavita.co.uk/2018/05/why-blogging-is-not-competition.html

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  29. Agree with every single word! I'm also an emotional roller coaster lol but only through working on these things you can become emotionally stronger - so no other way around. And I'm also not good with critics, so I always remind myself not to worry if someone does not like me - cause most people are struggling to like themselves.

    Have a great week!
    Anna
    http://atlifestylecrossroads.com

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  30. This was such a great post, I really loved reading it!

    Danielle xx
    https://www.fashionbeautyblog.co.uk/

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    1. You are so sweet Danielle! Thank you!

      x Lisa

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  31. I always feel like the best people to teach about something are the people who went through it and are actively working on it-- so i think you're the perfect person to talk about this. Also, the way i go through life, just in general, is to look on the bright side of things, believe in the positive, and literally believe that everything will turn out alright-- and it usually works-- so I don't take stock on ppl who call optimists Naive or dumb. they are the naive ones because they are missing out on what positive energy can do to their lives. I loved this post.

    http://cynicalduchess.com

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    1. Girl you seriously made my day! You are the best!

      x Lisa

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  32. Lisa! Thank you for opening up to share what you've learned about maintaining mental and emotional strength. This was such a beautiful reminder about the many ways to be kinder to ourselves and not let others get us down. xoxoxo

    https://brashandbrilliant.com

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    1. I am so glad to hear you liked the post :)

      x Lisa

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  33. You know, anyone who says that being optimistic or positive about live is being naive, is missing out on all the positive energy they could contribute to their lives if they viewed the world more optimistically. There is nothing wrong with believing that everything will turn out well for the good, in fact, that keeps you from becoming negative and depressed because you have hope and goals to reach. Honestly, that’s the only way I go through life and I find that it’s the perfect way to make myself believe that I will achieve my goals and be successful. The ppl who are telling you not to be optimistic are the dumb ones, not you.


    http://cynicalduchess.com

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    1. Girl I am totally with you! LOVE your perspective!

      x Lisa

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  34. Love these bright pictures (you also have beautiful hair!!), and these tips are super good! I have a hard time saying "no" sometimes too, but it's so important to have a healthy balance!
    -Kate // http://www.classyandkate.com/how-i-keep-my-skin-healthy-in-the-summer/

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    1. YES! Thank you so much lovely

      x Lisa

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  35. It's really tough to cut out toxic people out of your life, especially when you've known them for years but I totally agree, if they are toxic, belittle you and just don't have a positive implication on your life, it's not worth it. I did this with a couple of people and to be honest, I haven't really looked back and regretted it at all! xx

    www.iridescentplaces.com

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  36. Thank you so much for this post! It is so true, especially about people who feel that the world owes them something. Once you learn to accept all these things, you feel a lot more comfortable within yourself (although that doesn't mean we have to stop crying at TV ads or puppies haha)

    Rachel | rachelemmablog.blogspot.co.uk

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  37. this is such a great piece, these points are perfect!

    xo, chicdaze

    https://chicdaze.com/blogs/news/chicdaze-style-goals

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  38. Such a true post! "Being comfortable with uncomfortable emotions" stood out for me the most. I struggle with this so often. It's refreshing to hear someone else's take on moving past that.
    xxx Lauren

    www.laurencarmen.com

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    1. Girl yes! I am so glad you found it helpful!

      x Lisa

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  39. Totally agree with everything you've said! Have a lovely Friday! xx

    Andreea,
    http://couturezilla.com/

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    1. Thank you so much Andreea, you too!

      x Lisa

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  40. For the last couple of months, I felt drained and was certainly going through one of the hardest times.Nothing had a meaning and I felt myself being dragged into nonsense. I am currently trying really hard to get out of that mindset. Thank you for the tips!

    Love,
    i.b. | http://soundslikeidil.blogspot.com

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    1. I really hope you feel better soon lovely!

      x Lisa

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  41. You are really wise as it is so true what you wrote here!
    xx Rena
    www.dressedwithsoul.com

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    1. Oh you are so sweet, thank you!

      x Lisa

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  42. Loved ready this post. I totally agree with you.
    Have a beautiful day.

    Love, Esther
    https://lifestyle-tale.com/beef/

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Thank you! xx